Utah is amazing so far ! SO beautiful. I loved it from the moment we crossed the border.
We’ve had such a great week with great weather and happy memories. We love the state park we’re staying at and have thoroughly enjoyed it already! Can you even believe the views!? And of course an amazing sunset.
And let me interrupt this post for a moment to share some things I’ve been processing.
Father – are you sure I’m doing enough? I’m not doing enough for the kingdom. Think of all my brothers and sisters sacrificing so much. This adventure is so undeserved. Am I supposed to be doing more? Are you sure this is enough?
I have found myself praying those questions a lot the last couple of weeks.
But just like HE revealed to me powerfully in 2013 – 2015 (more on that here) …. the Lord reminds me again… Yes, my identity is just in being His. He loves me and likes me and delights in me – His daughter! My value is not in my good works or productivity or influence or impact or following. My focus is just to trust and obey Him! To follow Him closely and know He will work out the rest and decide how He uses me.
This week as I wrestled with some of these anxious questions…. I asked B to pray with me and as he prayed, it was like the Lord literally took away every thought, cleared my head of everything else, and brought to mind 3 little faces on 3 little bodies that He held in His lap close to His heart. It was overwhelmingly powerful and made me cry.
I often have said that my best and fave mission is to B and the kids.
I’ve known in my heart that teaching and loving these children are my favorite ministry.
I’ve known in my head that the most important calling given to me is to shepherd my kids to the Lord’s heart.
But this week – the Lord let me experience and feel it even deeper. He “locked it in”!!! 🙂 I know that THIS is my kingdom work.
I feel like the Lord gave me a glimpse of how quick my time with them truly is.
It’s a looong term work, this mothering and molding…. the fruit often doesn’t appear for long after the work is done….. but we get them so close to us for such a short time!
The message was clear. My mission is to love. And loving these 4 is my ministry and mission and most important.
Sometimes I think He has hidden us away for this season and it’s about what we are not doing moreso than what we are. We’re not rushing around to activities. Not spending many hours serving outside the home. We’re not rushing through dinner to go our separate ways. We’re not spending a lot of time focusing on things – cleaning them organizing them etc.
Every family is different. But for us I can see this season of being hidden away and separated out is exactly what was needed. What a good Father. He knows best!
These are some reminders He is spurring me on with:
- Love them, my daughter. Like I love you. Just like I’ve shown you that you love me by ENJOYING me – just love them by enJOYing them.
- You can’t quantify enjoying. Just do it.
- It doesn’t mean you have to play every game they want or be the most fun mom around or be the best and creative teacher
- Just take pleasure in them! Enjoy them! Let them see the love in your face!
- Stop focusing on the 10% of their behavior that’s like a category 5 hurricane and focus instead on the 90% of the time it’s sunny, great behavior.
- If ever you forget how great they really are – start looking for the good and praise and encourage it more more more!
- Stop comparing to others. Literally. Stop. Stop comparing to your relatives, your friends, your park neighbors.
- Use social media sparingly. (see above about comparison!)
- You won’t ever be perfect or do this mothering perfectly … but you were perfectly picked for them. And vice versa.
I don’t want to find my identity in my kids. Just like my identity is not in my ministry or good works or any giftings or accolades…. my identity is not found in my kids either. But I don’t have to fear that happening or fear worshipping them or fear being child-centered because I have no doubt the Lord is the center! HE is my identity and He is our everything.
I’m loving the kids and B for Him. I want to love them like He loves me – not treating them like they are perfect, not glossing over sins, not letting them think they are loved because they are superior.
But letting them know they are loved…. just because.
That’s who HE IS.
He has given me HIS love for them and it’s overwhelming!! I LOVE them so much. And it’s such a gift to get all this time together.
So yes America is beautiful.
This adventure is amazing! We are all learning & growing like crazy!
But to be hidden away for a season??? Seeking the Lord even more and loving each other for Him – that IS the most beautiful part of this adventure.
Now back to our week. We love all the swim time we are getting!!!
We all love water so much and I’m so grateful the Lord is helping us not miss the beach and pool too much ha!
We’ve felt like sea lions lounging on the rocks haha and we are loving it!
Happy Mother’s Day from beautiful Utah!